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So when someone’s hurting inside, they sometimes end up hurting others too. It’s not cool, but it happens.
They’re not doing it because they’re mean but because they’re trying to shield themselves from feeling worse about something.
What they say or do can totally make you feel bad, and you might get defensive too, or you might lash out back. It’s like the bad vibes are being passed on to you. Don’t let them get to you.
Try to take it less personally.
Learn to observe the world from outside of yourself; To do this you have to really put yourself in the shoes of the person ‘opposite of you.’
First, try to understand or assume “they” have their own set of ‘internal perceptions’ and to some level their own ‘negative self-perceptions’ that stem from ‘past traumas’.
Then, ask yourself “what is their life like?” “What have they been going through?” Are they really doing ok?”
Listen, to do this effectively, you need a mindset ‘open to alternative interpretations.’
In other words, put aside your views, opinions, and impressions so that you can create enough mental space to see and understand a situation the way another person does.
Is it honesty? Trust? Love?..No.
It’s you! See, you have to figure out who you are before you enter into a relationship. You have to figure out how to be patient, happy, and alone. If you can’t…, No matter how hard you try, you’ll end up blaming your partner for everything that goes wrong instead of realizing that your feelings of happiness and sadness happened to you, because of you. Because of how you have decided to interpret things. Your partner never made you feel anything. Ever.
It was your interpretation of your partner that made you feel how you felt. With a different interpretation, the love you have right now for someone can turn to hate. Or the hate that you feel for a different person can turn to compassion. It’s all how you see it. It’s all you. the truth is, we all have our own insecurities. accept that. Identify yours and take responsibility and accept with understanding who you are right now. and be willing to learn more about yourself, your partner, and your job, learn a new skill, and try to be a better you tomorrow. Whoever that is.
Ultimately, when two people give and take, they create a balance that makes a friendship or relationship strong and long-lasting. Sometimes, as I’m sure you know, we have to step it up when our partners can’t. But people sometimes act selfishly and take advantage of you.
Remember that there are people you are going to meet who have a hard time understanding or caring about others’ feelings. It’s important to remember that most people are not like this, and we should always try to be kind and understanding of others.
We shouldn’t think that everyone or someone specific should like us or that they should change for us. Instead, we should focus on making ourselves better and not worry about changing others.
When you come across a tough situation, it’s best to follow this two-step approach: (create change)
Step One: Can you make it work? Can you change how you feel about the situation or how you react to it?
Step Two: If the answer is no to step one, then can you do something about it? Can you talk to the person or talk to someone else about the person, problem, or issue?
If, after steps one and two, things still don’t get better, the solution is to remove yourself from the situation, this might be challenging, but it will help you be stronger and happier.
People sometimes act selfishly and take advantage of others. 1 out of 25 people you meet might have sociopathy tendencies. It’s common to meet people like this in our lives, like in our families, friends, work, and dating. These people are really good at hiding who they are. They are good at controlling and hurting others, and people who are kind and caring have a hard time understanding that someone could be so mean and dishonest. This is why these people can hide their true selves for a long time without anyone finding out.
We shouldn’t think that everyone should like us or that they should change for us. Instead, we should focus on making ourselves better and not worry about changing others.
Blame no one. Make no Excuses. Do something.
Okay, so trait transference. Sounds complex, but here’s the breakdown: people tend to associate you with the words you use for others.
Just start hyping up others with positive vibes. Hype up your friend’s confidence, whoever you are next to right now Hype them up , and watch how they start seeing you in that same light. It’s like going viral, but with compliments.
But hey, here’s the catch – it swings both ways. If you’re always negative about others, guess what? That’s the vibe people will associate with you too. So, keep it positive, keep it real, and spread those good words.
In psychology, ‘affective forecasting’, is our tendency to overestimate how much future events will affect our happiness or sadness. We predict our emotional future, but often, we get it wrong.
Think about it. You’re eyeing that new job, imagining it’ll be a life changer. Or perhaps, you’re worried that a breakup will leave you forever heartbroken. Fast forward, and things are… different. But Not as extreme as you expected. That’s affective forecasting in action!”
“Imagine you’re waiting for your Amazon package to arrive. You think, ‘Once I get this package, things will be great. You probably check the tracking number a few times a day’ But when you finally get it, you’re not that much happier. That’s affective forecasting in action!”
“But why does this happen? Well, our brains love a good story, especially one with dramatic emotional ups and downs.
The reality? We adapt quicker than we think.
We’re known for chasing big dreams and facing equally big anxieties. But whether it’s the thrill of new tech, the pressure in life, or the rollercoaster of relationships, remember: no single event is likely to make or break your emotional well-being.
Here’s the takeaway: Keep your expectations in check.
- Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay. Don’t take it personal. Always try to be kind and understanding of others. Focus on Improving your health and skills and dont worry about getting others to like you.
- Choose your battles: Focus on what truly matters, rather than engaging in every potential conflict.
- Recognize your own main character syndrome; Gain insight into the biases and limitation of your own viewpoint.
- Be comfortable with you because loneness is better than surrounding yourself with negative influencers.
You may not be the center of The Universe,
but you are the center of YOUR Universe
Take control of YOUR Universe,
focus on self-evolving
Warning: FradlerP psychology
is a form of thought
Let’s start with what makes us human
Our experiences, memories, thoughts, and feelings play a role in who we are but they are not the only thing that affects behavior.
Genes play an important part
Genes are tiny and can only be seen through a microscope, Genes hold DNA. Genes shape us inside and out.
Genes
Each gene has a special job to do
The DNA in a gene holds specific instructions—much like instructions on a recipe — the recipes are read by proteins.
DNA
Proteins are building blocks
Proteins are the building blocks for everything in your body. Your bones and teeth, hair and earlobes, muscles and blood, are all made up of proteins. Those proteins help our bodies grow, work properly, and stay healthy.
Proteins
But how do they affect behavior
If we are born with an imbalance of testosterone this can affect, aggression and self-esteem..
If we are born with a damaged or underdeveloped frontal part of the brain, we are going to have a hard time regulating and guiding our own behavior.
Behavior
The brain and spinal cord
The brain and spinal cord are connected as well as our eyes, ears, tongue, skin, and nose all have a connection straight to the brain and nervous system.
The nervous system is the mainframe that processes all the information from our senses and has a feedback loop that allows us to form a personality that we can use to interact with the world.
Together, the brain and spinal cord are the control center where information is evaluated, and decisions made.
The brain
Example
Our bodies have a complicated system to control food intake, driven by hormones and proteins. When activated in the brain it produces the sensation of hunger.
Food Intake
Hormones that circulate in the blood
The food intake system is mainly controlled by hormones that circulate in the blood. These come from tissues in various parts of the body that deal with energy intake and storage, including our stomach, the fat (which stores the energy), and the pancreas which makes hormones that are involved in energy storage, such as insulin.
Hormones
Maslow's hierarchy
It really doesn’t matter if we are sad, happy, or injured. If we haven’t eaten and are starving the first thing we want to do is eat. Our behavior will be influenced by the hunger.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in psychology that has five levels of human needs. Needs lower in the hierarchy must be satisfied before you can attend to needs higher up. From the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.
Motivational Theory
A chemical reaction
Think of Dopamine as a chemical reaction that controls our movement. It's an emotional reward system to remember body movement by associating it with feelings, when body movement happens in the physical world, like cooking your favorite meal or going to eat at your favorite restaurant, Dopamine gets released to give us a sense of satisfaction, that feeling will later serve as a reward reference to ensure we repeat that behavior with the purpose of eating again.
Chemicals in our brain make you feel good when you’ve done something great. (Also makes you feel like crap when you haven't done anything in a while.) Makes you feel proud when you get an A. or makes you feel good when you help with the dishes.
If you don’t have enough of it, it might be hard to set goals and get things done. But if you have too much then you have a new problem. Drugs or behaviors like gambling FLOOD the amount of dopamine in our brain so much that our brain starts to think that, all that dopamine is normal. And it expects those same levels to continue. After years of drug use or gambling all night, the brain may not be as impressed when you do the dishes.
Dopamine
Serotonin has been implicated in practically every type of behavior
such as the desire to satisfy needs, emotional, motor, and others. What we know about it is that if we don’t have enough of it it's likely that we will be depressed. If you have too much you get sick and you might die, somewhere in the middle, there’s a sweet spot. Restoring normal levels of serotonin in someone who feels anxious may feel less anxious and more confident in social situations.
Serotonin